Antisocial Career Post

I can commiserate with this post. A lot.

I’ve always been on the line between social and reserved. I can force it, or turn it on, when I need to but I find it extremely draining. Before I switched trajectories in life I was an attorney. A very social job. Most days left me exhausted at the end. To be fair, some of it was just the nature of the job, but a lot of it was having to constantly be on when talking to clients, other lawyers, or court appearances. Now I’m in a position where I spend most of my time with my immediate family or in my gardens.

I can say this. The more time I spent forcing the on button the generally easier it got. It was never a walk in the park, but it definitely lost its edge over time.

Self care at the end of the day helped tremendously. When I left work I completely insulated myself and was just quiet. Listened to books, tv, music etc. whatever makes you feel comfortable or restored. Compartmentalizing work and private life is a skill to cultivate. Especially since social interaction is a requirement for most occupations and certainly sounds like it for your situation.

I had a few close friends, but even that felt like too much at times. Balancing that out with the restorative times was challenging but possible.

I think that’s what it comes down to really, balance. And being kind to yourself while knowing your limitations. There’s nothing wrong or aberrant in needing alone time to process and restore.

Since you mention past trauma is a contributing factor it is a potential that with time, practice, and patience you may feel less discomfort from your interactions at work. Each successful encounter that doesn’t result in a traumatic recurrence may lessen the anticipation of disaster. However, even if this isn’t the case time and the balance practices previously mentioned may mitigate the discomfort enough to make things easier to cope with.

/r/socialskills Thread