This is completely reasonable concern you're expressing here. I'll just try and sum up my experience to hopefully offer you perspective. I utilized psych meds for a total of 6 months. Initially I started them with no clear goal in mind other than eventually weening off as I had similar concerns to yours. My doctor started me out on a benzo and eventually prescribed Zoloft. As reluctant as I was, I knew that I deserved a break from the consistent anxiety. The meds helped me tremendously the first few months especially considering I was pairing their effects with therapy. Somehow what I had been taught in therapy before and while I was on the meds seemed to take a better grasp. Around five months in was managing an addiction and the Zoloft was causing painful bloat among other painful stomach issues. Sure enough I felt stressed to begin to taper as the positives were no longer outweighing the negatives. Once I began to taper, I experienced withdrawal syndrome and it was hell. In retrospect deciding to take psych meds was both the most god awful thing I've ever managed and yet one of the most wonderful and proactive steps I've ever courageously taken. There are so many outlets my anxiety had stolen from me and the meds opened me back up. I was able to live the therapeutic lifestyle I had desperately wanted and that ultimately carried over into my psych med free future. The side effects were extreme and required a ton of reassurance and loving support from others considering my dealing with some of the most heinous attacks I've ever had. The meds were worth it in order to finally gain the psychological remedies my anxieties needed. My best advice it to keep talking about your experiences with the meds with others and consider hiring a second doctor so you are thoroughly cared for. I found I wanted a second option often while taking and tapering off the meds. No matter how awful the side effects are, Given that you manage the normal side effects associated with psych meds, your brain will recover from what toll they take on you physically. You deserve a break from this stuff, too. Take care.