Anxiety!!! Help?!?

I had a very similar experience to yours and it can indeed be very frightening. I've been an anxious person all my life but at one point I just had a breakdown, had a massive panic attack and was left with constant horrible feeling of anxiety. From the moment I woke up until I went to bed. I had the exact same feeling that I was disconnected from myself. I didn't feel normal and I was very much afraid I would get "stuck" like that. I was afraid what would happen to my life.

The good news is that it went away and I started feeling like myself again. For me it took several months but I did some stupid mistakes that prolonged it. Main mistake was that I didn't really talk about it to anyone for a long time. Yeah, I went to a doctor, got the GAD diagnosis, got medicine and saw a psychiatrist a few times but I didn't talk about it to people in my life. Not my parents, not my girlfriend and not my friends. I was afraid I had gone crazy, something irreversibly was broken and no one would be able to get it. None of that is true. That would be my one main advice to you. Nothing's been ruined. Nothing's been permanently broken. You aren't crazy. And people can understand and help.

Another thing was that I got pretty obsessed about feeling normal again which made me think constantly "am I normal yet?". I was monitoring my feelings all the time. If I wasn't feeling normal I got more anxious which made it harder to feel normal which made me more anxious and so on. It is INCREDIBLY hard not to think about it, I know, but focusing on little things help. Meditation, breathing exercises, physical excercise, music, books, movies. Whatever it is that makes you feel even a little bit more relaxed. Don't shoot for the moon and try to snap yourself back to "normal" with some trick but try to focus every day on doing that little something that helps with the anxiety. It can even be something really silly that helps a bit. For me it was a brand of lemon flavored carbonated water. I know how weird that can sound but there was something comforting about the flavor. So I took some solace from the fact that I was still enjoying SOMETHING at least a LITTLE BIT and just built on that. Slowly expanding the net of things that made me feel better until one day I just noticed that "hey, wait a minute, I'm feeling good again". It kind of creeps up on you, doesn't happen all of a sudden.

I still had a lot of underlying twisted thinking patterns that I had to resolve (and am still resolving) that ultimately lead to my breakdown. But I was myself again and on a base level feeling good. Anyway, this is already getting long, sorry about that. This is all coming just from my experience but hopefully you get something out of it. I know how horrible this can be so I really do feel for you. If you feel like you don't have someone you can talk about this to feel free to send me a PM. Even with the wall of text I feel like I left a lot out of it :)

/r/Anxiety Thread