Not discounting her being asked to leave a home at all. I myself cannot believe anyone would even consider that an option no matter how bad a child is. I added that part to paint a picture that SD is not the easiest kid, however imo it does not warrant being kicked out. I was hoping that information and the other family not talking to her shows the dysfunction were are navigating from SD and that side of the family.

We don't call her a liar or manipulator to her. When she does lie and manipulate we explain the situation and how that impacts decisions. We try to be very careful of not putting her in a box, because we are concerned that she would limit herself to that and we want her to be a functional adult finding success in what she wants to accomplish. However, I can't say that's the same from her BMs side of the family, but we won't really know because SD doesn't like to talk about it.

I'm sorry you had a rough childhood, that's exactly what we've been trying to avoid. We are struggling because no matter what we do, we still seem to be the targets. Makes me hopeful to hear you're a happy adult. It's hard to picture things changing for SD, so this is reassuring.

Her dad has been getting SD help, unfortunately SD doesn't always want it and will refuse to go. We are very fortunate to have extremely good insurance so we want to utilize it as much as possible but there's only so much we can do when SD doesn't want to participate.