The biggest difficulty I have with my closest NT friends and NT lovers has always been this: Autism is an invisible disability, so it's easy for any NT to assume I should be able to do something I can't because, in the NT's eyes, it is identical to something I have no trouble with.
No.
The NTs who really love me all realize that, if I demand out of nowhere an explanation, right now, no matter how inconvenient or tangential or bizarre or irrelevant it may seem, I need that explanation. I can not put it on the table; I can not put that need on hold; I can not "just get over it". Can I fake it? If absolutely necessary, yes, but only terminating all authenticity with you, possibly permanently.
The only way I was able to be inauthentic enough with you to bypass that logjam was to permanently reclassify you in my mind as a heuristic to solve rather than a human being. Once you require me to be inauthentic with you, you have reformatted me to be inauthentic with you forever. You don't get to pick and choose.
If I'm in the middle of an argument with a woman, and she is so angry she can barely speak and tears are pouring down her face, and suddenly she says something that logjams my brain so I need to ask her Right Then what she means, she needs to answer. Until that logjam is broken, it doesn't matter how much she yells or cries, it doesn't matter how many tears she sheds or how much her cheeks blush with flame, my ability to parse all that nonverbal and verbal data goes on hold and remains on hold until she gives me the answer to my logical, emotionless, cold question. Unless she wants me to permanently reclassify her as a heuristic and no longer as a human being.
And this is not my choice or my conscious desire -- it is my disability, and I can alter it no more easily than a man without eyes can choose by power of will to see or a man without legs can choose by power of will to walk on two organic limbs.
That is the biggest difficulty NT people cause for their ASD friends and lovers. Because our disability is invisible to them, they assume we should be able to alter it when they are crying or feeling rage or simply feeling cranky. It doesn't work that way.
Feeling hurt by having an aspie ask you in the middle of an argument a coldly logical question is as offensive as feeling hurt by having a blind man fail to notice your blush or feeling hurt by having a paraplegic in a wheelchair feel to get to his feet when you enter a room.
Those three are exactly the same. The fact that ASD is invisible does not make it any less a disability than blindness or paraplegia.