Creativity was my thing. Was the one thing I could say was "me". Now it's gone like the rest of me. I've dissociated too much and I haven't wanted to go back. Doesn't seem like there's a point in going back, except to get out my emotions but that happens rarely now because of the dissociation.
I do continue to knit and crochet though. Mostly to give my hands something to do while sitting around. I don't think I would be doing it if it wasn't mostly mindless for me, but even then I have a hard time doing it, especially when the depression or self loathing comes along.
Have you thought about pouring your feelings into your poetry? I did that with writing. Wrote how I felt when that self hatred came along. The quality of the work didn't matter, all that mattered was getting it out. Helped me calm down, helped me improve my work and myself by going over it later and dissecting it.