im of the strong conviction that causing stimulation to the sexual glands will lead to a waste of energy that would have otherwise contributed to regeneration/transmutation.
according to the sources that discovered and prescribed what you now call and culturally appropriate as "semen retention", the loss of this energy is greatest when lusting, the loss is even greater than mere physical loss.
doing SR with lusting (edging) is the same as not doing SR, practicall speaking. if you lust and lose 90% of the benefits, you can go all the way at that point... whats the point of keeping semen in? i have heard that taoist practitioners who do that, get physical issues (enlargened prostate or even cancer) - but they forcibly stop their orgasm mechanically, so this may be tangential.
edging is not a natural thing to do. the sexual organs exist for procreation. sense-gratification is secondary and only an incentive to lead you to procreate (primary). edging is unnatural. masturbation is unnatural.
all these are mental diseases (unnatural/perverse/extreme fixations). you need to be crazy to do these things. but its strongly normalized in all cultures throughout the world and people lack common sense to see it for what it is. also, people are generally weak, you are a great example - even after discovering SR, you are still trying to have one leg in both worlds! that will only tear you apart! dont be lukewarm, pick one and commit.
a similarly crazy analogy would be this: imagine you live in a world where its been normalized to cut your arm and squeeze half a liter of blood down the toilete every night. its promoted by science and pop culture and whatnot, and everyone is doing it, even if its weird to talk about it openly. then there is a little group of people who discover the benefits of "blood retention"... and they stop doing it. they stop being anemic, since they have never been in a state of not being anemic, they lack words to describe that state, they have "super powers", they feel alive again, etc. etc.
in this analogy, you would be the guy who goes to the toilete, takes the knife and presses it agains his arm without really cutting it. or who wants to discuss it in the forum of blood retainers what their take on it is, to bring that knife as close to your arm as possible, without cutting it and spilling blood!
its madness.
if you are wanting to go back, perhaps you have not really understood SR. if this is so, go research it properly. if you really feel like edging, dont do SR. go masturbate...