I'm proud to be a cis hetero male. Not only was I born with every advantage it's possible for one person to have; but I'm the living, breathing, walking, fucking, fighting, drinking avatar of The Patriarchy.
Relevant post from an AskMen thread titled, "In what ways do you enforce the patriarchy?"
Credit to /u/Destroya12.
This morning in the gym I was bench pressing well over 400lbs when I noticed a weak, cowering woman, who was obviously new to the gym. She was making a feeble attempt to do dumbell curls with the 5 pound weights that she could barely lift. It was at that moment that I got a misogynistically naughty idea. I put down my massive weights, stood up and inched ever closer to her. The other men in the gym took note, as it was not often that I would ever allow anything to interrupt my workout.
They began to smirk and laugh at the sheer oppression that I was about to dish out. Continuing on the pathetic womyn tried desperately to avoid eye contact with me, but it was no use. I had her scrawny body in my sights and was not about to let it leave. She started sweating (even moreso than before) as I stopped alongside her. She knew what was about to happen.
"Hello there ma'am," I said, "I see you're having some trouble there. Perhaps I could give you a few tips to show you the proper form?" Of course, this was a pointless question. As a man, I naturally don't take no for an answer.
The laughs of the other patriarchs in the room had grown louder to become ear splitting. They had stripped naked to reveal their throbbing erections, an obvious tactic of the patriarchy. They were stroking feverishly at the rape that was being committed right before their very eyes.
I transphobically picked up a 90lb dumb bell and showed the pathetic wench how to do a simple bicep curl. She gasped at the sight of me, standing there with my bulging muscles so much stronger than her, lavishing my patriarchal authority upon her. She couldn't take it anymore. She collapsed to the ground sobbing uncontrollably, knowing she could never be as strong as I was, and would be forever condemned into making 77 cents for every dollar I made. I knelt down and whispered in her ear, "Now what do you say?"
"T-t-thh-thank you."
"Thank you what bitch?" I said, annoyed at her lack of compliance to address me properly.
"Thank you sir." She said through a stream of tears.
"It was my privilege." I responded smugly.
It was at that moment she passed out. I along with all the other men came instantly at the sight of her pathetic helplessness, spilling our collective seed on her body, as if to claim her as our property. Her miserable performance proved once and for all that wxmyn will always be inferior to men, driving the last nail in the coffin of wxmynz's rights, and forever cementing the patriarchy's glorious rule.