To any men of sexxit who feel [neglected, unappreciated, and not sexy], especially in a sexual relationship..

Thank you for writing this, but reading it was quite bittersweet. It felt good to hear, thank you. I'm glad that someone feels this and is saying what we want to hear but it doesn't change the fact that our partners don't feel it/say it/show it.

When your esteem is so bruised that you question your own worth (let alone "sexiness"), after the initial smile from this has worn off the reality sinks in and that this refers to someone other than you. Knowing that people DO feel the way you wrote makes us feel even worse that our partners don't feel the same way about us.

Again, I know it was written with the best of intentions and it made me feel great at first but it harkens back to childhood, hearing that "you're so handsome" from a well meaning relative. One of the comment exchanges between OP /u/pekes86 and /u/AverageUnicorn really struck home with the description of hunky, tanned or muscly guys as intimidating. As a slender guy, "not intimidating" is the best I could hope for and "not intimidating" isn't exactly the pinnacle of sexiness. I don't want someone to think I'm "handsome and not intimidating." I want her to shiver as I slide behind her, pressing up against her and wrap my hands around her hips, nibbling at her ear. Not feel safe.

source; a "not intimidating" guy.

/r/sex Thread