My heart goes for you & and your mom, OP. I’ve been in that position last November. Mom’s conditioning deteriorating very fast. So I quickly book a ticket back home so I can take care of her while WFH. I’m very lucky that I’m able to meet her while she still conscious in ICU.

My advise is it’s ok to cry as long as she didn’t see it. Stay strong for her, give her encouragement, ask forgiveness for everything you’ve done and have a quality talk with her while she still here. I’m glad that I have a very deep convo whether she happy with her life so far, what things that made her happy the most and regret in her life-unsurprisingly both answer is related to her children (this changed how I lived now, for the better).

From what I’ve experienced, the hardest past is not about taking care of her, it’s a loneliness the day after her funeral. Like every corner of the house remind me of her, last paragraph she wrote in her notebook, even the lingering smell of here still there in her pillow, daster.. that when reality hit me hard. When that time comes, please talk to your friend/have counseling/traveling. I had a weeks of traveling to heal & pull myself of isolation.