I think I am on the same boat, my family is a fervent believer but I always doubt the existence of something as a major force called God, when I was a child my parents put me on a Catholic school and while I saw how the nuns tried to teach us religion and made us forcibly believe in God, later I started thinking that this Catholic education was more like an indoctrination rather than induction (If that's the correct word to say) just making little childs to fear instead of believe saying that you'll burn in the flames of hell and torture for the rest of the eternity if you don't believe in God, it didn't take time to realise that religion was more a way to controll people and blind their judge by just letting "God" to decide their fate because "God" knows what's the best of them. Nowadays I lost an important member of my family, he believed in this fake existence called God and one of his last word was: "well it looks like God has abandoned me". His faith didn't save him, something that doesn't exist betrayed him... Recently I received a bad news and the only "comfort" words that people says is: "Maybe God has a better plan for you" I'm tired that people relay on something so stupid that apparently it's so crapped that if you doubt of it you deserve all it's anger.