I was told by my lawyer that being educated and young means more opportunities to find some sort of job despite the illness and pain. Older people and uneducated are more likely to get approved because they have less chances. That's the way it was explained to me. Yes, it is bullshit. But it is what it is.

As for my husband, no he is not verbally or physically abusive. In some ways I wonder if that makes leaving more difficult because he is "just" emotionally neglectful. But it still is an extremely unhealthy dynamic for my son, who is himself struggling with depression and anxiety that is so bad he only attends school part time and does the rest online. It is hard for him to verbalize why he hates his dad so much when he isn't verbally or physically abused, just ignored and feeling unloved and unsupported. And on top of that, he has a mom who is sick and in constant pain, and watching his dad ignore me too. He's a good kid and I think he would thrive without his dad around, as horrible as that is to say.