I as a straight dude, fell for another straight dude.

We hated each other when we met. We were forced together for work and on a long drive, he received bad news.

I awkwardly comforted him. He then started coming to me all the time when he needed to breakdown.

We became best friends. We spent every second together. Work, gym, went to eat together, movies, park, hiking etc. Basically, we were together most of the day, every day.

He started acting weird with me. Constantly told me he loved me. And I returned it because I really did. He was like the best guy friend I never had. He was family to me.

But then he started touching me a little too much. Saying gay stuff to me. Then started avoiding me. So I forced him one day to speak to me. He told me he started having feelings for me. Dreams of me fucking him.

That's when I started falling for him.

Things were bad at first because everytime we did anything, he'd freak out and run back into the closet until he came back to me.

I thought we got past it but 2 years later he ran back into the closet, ran off with an alcoholic coworker of ours. She got fired for being drunk and late all the time. He quit in protest. He now has to work a couple jobs to support her. She cheats on him. Their kid looks nothing like him.

It's been a few years but I still catch feelings for him every once in while. When I run into him around town. At the gym or grocery store. When a co-worker asks me about him.

He was the first person I truly loved. As a friend, as family. And even after 4 years, he still fucks me up for a week or two every once in a while. Especially knowing how miserable he now is.