Any trans people here transition and become horrified as they begin to resemble an abusive parent?

Unfortunately yes.

My mother meets my reflection & makes me quite angry. Not an entire twin, but too similar to debate it.

I’ve considered facial surgeries outside of the typical expectations because of it.

She lost her nurturing side long ago. I hold on to mine.

She too was as abused, but got to the point becoming an abuser herself became her way…. Unlike her I “let” myself be abused & wont fight back, when I have the strength to run, I do…. But I will not allow myself to be the monster my dad is, nore the evilness my mum became…. I would rather meet the morgue then go that route. I made a vow after an incident that left mum unconscious from the abuse when I figured out this wasn’t normal, that I would never intentionally hurt another & would do anything I had to do to make sure I didn’t turn out like them.

Many abusive relationships & I still have never fought back, fight or flight… I choose to flee.

My mum is beautiful…. I can honestly say I’m envious of that, thankful for that…. But it’s like, what if your abuser swapped bodies to get away & you were left having to see that reflection haunting you every time you look into anything reflective.

Only difference in us physically other then the obvious, is she taller, thicker, flatter, muscular & frizzy haired. I’m shorter, thinner, I’m about a cup size larger then her. have no obvious muscles & my hair is naturally straight, sometimes wavy.

Our internal traits are very similar …. I often find myself swearing under my breath that I’m turning into her…

So no, your not alone, I completely get it. If you wanna message me feel free…. Especially with the decent of or issues going on, it can be difficult speaking too openly.

/r/CPTSD Thread