You already know how it's going to turn out. Some family members will make pointed comments, some will smile coldly at you (the ones paying for sitters, probably), while others will smile politely at you. ALL of them will be rolling her eyes. "Isn't that just like her. She never did think of anyone but herself." And since it is a family gathering they will entertain themselves by dredging up that one thing you did in third grade that proved you were going to turn out like this.

Probably true. Suppose I just gotta figure out, if they’re already taking about me like that, then it won’t change much to bring my kid and smile back.

It seems like the issue is the side of the invite list (he’s got 9 brothers and sisters, 20 or so nieces and nephews, all their spouses etc) and they’re cutting it off at kids. Which I guess is reasonable....except mine is 1, won’t be taking up a seat and won’t be eating the food. So I haven’t yet been persuaded to attend a family function without part of my family.