My friend this is an example of exactly what NOT to do when creating a piece of content.

The font formatting was pretty awful. You have text boxes with font size bigger than the other text. Capitalizations are not working for me. The yellow text to highlight the phrases are not working because I’m being assaulted with words. Also you can’t let someone ramble two minutes straight with no cohesion. You also can’t shoot someone directly against a busy mural. There’s no depth and it’s distracting

Everyone has to start somewhere so don’t feel bad.

Honestly I would hire someone to re-shoot this and edit it. I am positive you could find someone around your area that’s less experienced but experienced enough. Pay them extra to have them show you how they are filming it, why they edit it this way etc.

Here’s what I would choose as the “story”

Open with one graphic stating the following…

Colfax Business Breakfast Club, Location, Date and Time

Next part…

Interview about who frequents (mayor and business owner footage)

Next part

Who is welcome (you gotta cut this down to 10 or 15 seconds)

Next part

Why they need to join (put the 40k fact up here, maybe state the businesses you weren’t aware were in town etc. This also has to be short. 15 seconds tops)

Show opening graphic again

Colfax Business Breakfast Club, Location, Date and Time.

THE END