I mean, I found out about his tinder account about a month or so ago, I posted about it back then. And when I asked him several (and I do mean several) questions about it, one of the questions was, did you tell any of these twunts that you would meet up with them, and he said yes, and I asked him if he meant it, and he said, he wasn't sure. Basically, I found out that yes, he had thought about cheating on me, he ultimately didn't. So, I mean, I already know that at some point he did intend to cheat. Any account on either of these sites could have been from that time or even a long time ago. We have had a VERY rocky marriage to say the least. He has only recently started trying harder and really acted like he's turned over a new leaf. And I have been... Cautiously optimistic... Emphasis on cautiously... That it's for real. I know how dumb I probably sound, that's fine, but it honestly really does feel different this time, in my gut. SO, with that in mind, I am really hoping that this is from the past... Not that that'll be easy to swallow either just cuz it'll be opening old wounds basically, but certainly much better than it being current...

Idk. I'm trying to figure out how to deal with this. I can't even think straight, not just cuz of this but cuz of everything else going on in my life at the moment, on top of barely sleeping at all anymore for multiple reasons, AND I'm getting sick and I have a fever and a sire throat and I'm so tired I'm seeing double, ha ha. Sooooo, I'm just gonna try to put this out of my mind for tonight, get some sleep, and deal with it tomorrow. Or something. Fuck, I don't know. Just shoot me, somebody. Cuz, ya know, fuck. Ha ha.