Anyone else constantly get/got pressure to have kids then virtually no help afterwards?

My husband has fertility issues and so in our 20’s we didn’t give much thought to children. It was something we were open to but given the challenges of either trying to get pregnant or adopting a child, we just always said we’d wait until we were older and more financially responsible to consider parenthood.

When I was in my mid-20s we were approached by a pregnant relative and asked whether we would consider adopting the baby. I knew we couldn’t really afford a kid. But the more my husband and I talked about it the more we thought we could be good parents. I asked my in-laws about it because I just wasn’t sure if we were doing it for the right reasons. My MIL not only encouraged us to adopt but also insisted she would help financially.

Here we are 8 years later, parents of an amazing kid and in a much better financial situation. But my MIL has seen my child only a handful of times (lives out of state tbf) and sends us $100 per year for his birthday and Christmas gifts. I don’t mean to complain about the money, but she spends more money on her niece who lives closer, and takes vacations multiple times per year with said niece. I just feel like my kid is an afterthought and it’s frustrating. She babysat one time and told us she put him in his crib and propped a bottle for him on a pillow while she read a book. Never asked her to babysit again. When he was a baby, she would help with formula sometimes and complained about how expensive it was.

Idk what I’m trying to say except I get it and it sucks. Over the years, our village has become our friends. I highly suggest keeping your closest friends close, they’ll likely be the ones who are there for you and your family in the future.

/r/Parenting Thread