Anyone else experiencing/experienced resentment towards parents after receiving a diagnosis as an adult?

My mom knew about my ADHD since i was a kid and said she always meant to do something about it but never did. And assumed it couldn't be that bad because i seemed all right. I have severe RSD to this day and was depressed, self harming and having melt downs in private all the time. I think there was some resentment when i first started learning about ADHD. But honestly, i knew i had ADHD and that was why i couldn't focus when i read(thats what i thought my biggest problem with it was). That's as much as i knew about it. I got a bachelor degree in psychology and it wasnt until lockdown that i actually sat down and learned about how ADHD actually works and everything it effects. As well as how it actually comes across in behavior. I then got a diagnosis and treatment. My mom didn't have the resources i have now to look up and understand ADHD when i was growing up. As well she has ADHD and now im the one teaching her things about it. The thing is most of the problems you have are going to be caused by the people who raised you. Theres a quote i like, "Its not your fault for being fucked up, but it is your fault for staying that way." You can literally blame your parents for every problem in your life. But they were probably learning shit along the way while you were growing up. As well with ADHD especially they were probably still believing that girls couldn't have it and not understanding how it works. Our parents are people, and they make mistakes that they can't take back, and so has everyone else. It is best to learn from it, leave it in the past, and move on. Holding resentment isn't going to change what already happened. I know it says looking for support and im probably going to delete this because it seems too forward, i am genuinely trying to be helpful, this is genuinely the perspective that helped me forgive my mom and come to terms with everything.

/r/adhdwomen Thread