Anyone else feel like they over-empathize with their partner's pain or experiences? Leading to forgiveness when perhaps it wasn't warranted.

Ahh I was in a similar situation. Poor boundaries, not knowing how to communicate them, and caving because my ex’s happiness was more important. And it wasn’t malicious on his part because if I was firm with my boundaries - if I knew what they were and how to communicate them, not rationalize the situation but be like “full stop, no” - he would have tried his best to listen to me, and it would have minimized the pain on both sides.

You can’t put another person’s happiness ahead of your own, you can’t care about and love someone more than you care and love yourself. And having and communicating boundaries and deal breakers is how you love your self. I guess I realized relationships (platonic/romantic/etc) are conditional because the condition is for the other person to meet your needs and wants (and you meet their needs and wants). And when you are honest and transparent and communicate...it minimizes the hurt and makes for a better healthier relationship.

i think the only unconditional love and relationship that is healthy is probably parent to child. And self love.

/r/Codependency Thread Parent Link - i.redd.it