Before meditation, perhaps angry and lost, not the best childhood. Learned it, a form of Sant Mat mediation, from what I've read. There was a mediation master at the time, don't follow anymore, but don't need to.

Not meditating is like not eating and being hungry. You eat and feel satiated and just feel good. In the beginning it is a very subtle feeling, but has gotten much stronger over the years.

I'll have to make a post about it. Basically, I don't meditate every day, but I do always feel I'm living in the moment. Grounded. Feeling good. If I'm stressed about BS in life, I'll meditate and all that crap washes off and I feel good. I feel fortunate to have learned and kept it up.