I feel like I'm only valuable superficially

Yep. Maybe I'm so used to being someone's tool that it has prejudiced me to seeing every social interaction in terms of utility. I never minded being a tool in the Army, because I believed in the cause. I had (and still have) an unreasoning prejudice in favor of American lives. I once heard a commander say to a SSG, "You're my hammer, out there," and I wanted to be that guy.

But now, there's no great cause that anyone wants me to serve. It's all personal feelings and petty ambition. It just seems that I am only valuable, only appreciated, respected or loved to the extent that other people can find me helpful in the pursuit of their individual goals. Maybe it seems that way to me because that's how I engage with other people, too. There are a few people in this world I still care about. But, generally, we all agree that the less we talk, the better we get along.

Green Day has this lyric, "Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?"

I sit on my ass too much. Maybe I should look for volunteer opportunities. I don't know if your time and finances allow that, but if they do, it might help.