yeah i feel you 1000%. on top of not being mentally well as a child, neither parent was really “there” in an emotional sense. the very few memories i have of when my parents were still together was of them fighting but they divorced when i was eight or nine i don’t remember much of my childhood or exactly when things happened too well. and my home life was even more unstable after the divorce with my mother being narcissistic, emotionally, psychologically and later in my teen/early adult years physically abusive, and not seeing my dad consistently bc of divorce and shit. it caused a really really tumultuous childhood/upbringing to say the very least with a little too much trauma and bad memorized. now i’m a nearly twenty one year old man who can’t figure out what he wants and doesn’t really know how to be an adult/do things to take care of myself outside of the basics and my dad just can’t understand