In hindsight I never had friends.

I had classmates I was friendly with at all levels of school and then coworkers I was friendly with when I had a 9-5 job but each time I moved on with my life I just drifted apart with everyone from the previous phase. Now I do something freelance-ish and work from home without even coworkers.

I've always made good money and the first thing I spent it on was my own place to live without roommates. In hindsight I might be happier now if it weren't for that. What I jokingly refer to as a kickass bachelor pad is kinda more like a monastic cell at this point.

I have single-purpose acquaintances, like a bunch of people who are regulars at my dog park... but I've never talked to any of them outside that context.

I'm close-ish to family... but my parents are enjoying their retirement and my siblings have their own families. I'm the creepy uncle, which is an awkward role. I show up at family events when required and do my best to smile.

I tried meetups for a while a couple years ago but they were always just weird and awkward... as Groucho Marx says about clubs, basically.