follow my vegan beliefs 90% of the time

to be a perfect vegan

when I was a strict vegan

This is why you're getting downvoted in this thread, much more so than the fact that you're consuming animal products 10% of the time. You're misunderstanding what veganism means. Saying things like 'strict vegan' implies that someone can be vegan but still pay for animal exploitation and cruelty by choice. There is no such thing as a 90% vegan. This is not because we like to have our exclusive little club, but because veganism is not just a lifestyle but also a movement that protests against animal cruelty and exploitation, a movement that shows other people that we don't need any of that at all.

Have you thought of trying something else to motivate you? Maybe you could try watching Earthlings again. Have you watched Dominion already? There's also Land of Hope and Glory and some other documentaries.

Maybe you could read a book about ethics. I'm reading Practical Ethics by P. Singer now and I find it very interesting. The ethics of our views and treatments of animals are discussed in much detail. Maybe you could read some essays on speciesism.

Maybe you could go visit an animal sanctuary if there's one near you, and just watch and pet and cuddle the animals for a bit to bond with them.

Maybe you could join an action by the SAVE movement and bear witness to animals that are sent to the slaughter.

Just some ideas.