This is too relatable. I agree with the other commenter who feels a bit ashamed. I had a mental breakdown ~3 years in because of marriage issues and a complete lack of support at work. I practically begged my therapist to push me out. If I’d stayed any longer, I 100% would have killed myself. None of my leadership ever asked me how I was doing. I had literally zero friends in my squadron.

My leadership then had to write bullshit about me to justify discharge. Not being able to fight their claim that I was “a negative impact on the work-center” destroyed me. Another great line was “flight leadership tends to ah_alyssa’s personal issues so frequently that it is a distraction” lol...asking for help divorcing my abuser, asking for mental health help so I didn’t harm myself...yeah, huge distractions. The worst part is that I was damn good at my job before, too. I helped my peers 24/7. I was the airman that people came to with questions. I won awards for superior performance. Once I cracked, I became the most inconvenient sub-human to them - no productivity, therefore no value.

I separated in February and I have enjoyed unemployment, I have traveled, met some great people, enjoyed life. I’m 50/50 on if it was all worth it. The experience I got enabled me to make close to 6 figures...I never imagined that I’d be in that position financially at 23. But I went through hell mentally, and I’ll never be the person I was before I joined. And my “revenge” on my shitty leadership is the fact that I now make waaay more than them, and with a lot less experience lol.

I’m sorry for your experience, and I hope you can continue to process, heal, and find peace. Be patient with yourself, and if you ever need an ear, my inbox is always open.