Anyone else re-evaulate all their friendships?

I would just say to open up and be a bit more trusting.

Sure there are people out there who are assholes. They hide it real well until they get what they want from you or things stop going their way. But if you close off to avoid being hurt by "bad" people, you also close off from opening up to the good ones.

A lot of people seem untrusting, sceptical, and worried. They pull back or away from others as a protection thing. My friend says "I don't think people ever care what I say, because mostly I don't care what they say". So he doesn't really talk much, and it was affecting our bond. You're supposed to share your life with your friends and in return you hear about their life. It's about caring for another person, just because you like them, not because they can give you something.

Friendships are a back and fourth. I have two examples; my best friend and I, it's never one way. She asks me to hang out, I ask her to hang out. We don't forget one another if that makes sense. However I have two other friends who are a couple, they're nice people, they're just really bad at actively being friends. They don't keep in contact at all, fall of the map. At the beginning I would invite them places and they don't reply. It might seem like they don't want to be my friend either, yet once every few months or so I get a message, they want to hang, they organise it, and we have a hella good night.

But I went bowling last night and there was room for them. I didn't invite them because I know they never reply.

People who are hard to contact, in my world anyway, get left out. I know this because I was the one who was hard to contact and I missed out. Now I try a bit harder and my social life is better.

If someone is happy alone, with a couple friends, or no friends even, that's not an issue. The issue is when they are not happy alone, try to make friends, yet don't actively participate in the friendship, and make an effort. Maybe they don't know how, maybe they don't like getting rejected, I'm not sure. But I am weary of people who don't put effort into maintaining their social relationships, and then complain everyone else is the problem.

/r/raisedbynarcissists Thread Parent