Has anyone else realized as you got older that you were raped when you were younger?

when i was 14, i met this girl in science class, our first and only class together. We were definitly crushing on eachother from the start. we sat next to eachother. We would hang out between classes, and after school sometimes. Texting almost constantly. Kissed once after some time.

One night i asked her if she wanted to sneak out. She wanted to. I met at her back door and she came out. She had a towel or blanket. We went to a park and laid on it and watched the stars.

We soon started kissing. Like pecking. This was the first time she let me touch her "more". But when i went low, she pushed my hand away and giggled. But was still kissing me. I kept trying to go back.

I eventually positioned in a away that one hand could roam free. I wasnt trying to force anything. It was more in a flirty "gotcha" moment for me. But i do remember her not kissing me as much. And not giggly/laughy/smily. Dont know how to explain it. Looking back i clearly did wrong.

She never snuck out with me again. I asked if she wanted to again some time later and she said "can my brother come with?"

We were boyfriend/girlfriend a week or two later.

Reading your post makes me think of that moment and how she mightve felt from me doing that. A guy she only knew for a couple months(maybe) from school on top of her at midnight.

I was with this girl all of high school. Not together anymore, but we still kinda keep in touch. Its been almost 10 years since that moment. I feel like i should apologize but it would be kinda weird to bring up.

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread