Anyone else really fucking lonely?

I took a moment (2 or 3 weeks) to focus on my career after being there for my friends and theirs despite being entirely overwhelmed with all the social interactions for months prior, and now they all say I’ve “left them behind for bigger things” whenever I come to hang out. I didn’t go MIA I was still around to chat the weeks I was busy and I kept them in the loop of my schedule. Got to a point where I was sleeping 3 hours a day just to allow for time to socialize. Now I’m just a running joke to them that I apparently moved on to “more important people” and don’t support them. Which isn’t true cause every time I reach some level of success I include them in it and share/help out.

It’s always “haha we’re just joking” when I mention it’s upsetting to hear that from them, but I mean come on, is it a running joke for weeks or is there some truth to the sudden hostility?

This is my rant of solidarity, you’re not wrong to feel lonely. But I hope you feel less alone knowing we’re in the same boat, along with the other lovely Aspies here.

I can’t handle so much socializing, with several groups of friends at the same time to add. It’s exhausting and I neglect myself as a result of trying so hard to be there for everyone. But as soon as I take a moment to focus on myself, I get cast out... same pattern ever time. I can’t say they’ve “backstabbed” me but lately they don’t make me feel wanted if I’m not their norm of social, nor appreciated for all the things I’ve done to be there for them.

It’s hard to not over think it, it’s harder to not be sensitive about it because I care a lot about people in my life, but at this point it doesn’t even hurt anymore, and I won’t blame myself for being sensitive to these “jokes” or overthinking it, or rush to drop everything to prove I’m there for them. I’m just going to keep doing my own thing. Focus on yourself, those who understand and appreciate you for who you are will be there. It’s a lonely road but the upside is enjoying the solitude.

/r/aspergers Thread