Anyone else really want to get into healslutting, but kinda nervous?

I definitely understand the sentiment. Be assured that you're not alone and there are many, many people in the same situation; I wouldn't be surprised if the majority are in the same situation as you. As matter of fact, I find it a good thing that you're too shy to even start. Too many newcomers just come into this culture and get started prematurely without any a priori. This can be especially a whole magnitude worse because of the stereotype "gamers don't socialise" and not have real-life sexual/relationship experience. At least, this is what I gather from my conversations when trying to help, and people get a really bad first taste of this culture. It also doesn't help that there is no actual guide, and the closest thing to such guides is BDSM guide, but there is still a pretty significant disconnect between the BDSM world and the HS world simply because HS is more digital-oriented.

As a dom myself, this situation is especially bad for new doms, because the of the common misconception that doms can simply be jerks and this is a culture where we like having such kinds around. This makes healsluts even more reluctant to try, putting this whole community in this awkward Catch-22 situation. This is one of the main reasons why I hosted an exhibition yesterday so that people can also learn from it.

Without a doubt, communication is key. Before doing roleplay, make sure to establish beforehand:

  • which words can't be used by both parties, know what toys you have, understand what each other's kinks are in detail, etc.

  • at least 10 minutes to an hour feedback time after the roleplay is over

This also means talking normally, not letting the dom be a dom when you're having a casual conversation. I had to go through too many conversations where healsluts can't have a normal conversation with their doms because some doms think that they can just be a dom 24/7.

Unfortunately, the roleplay advice above are already out there. What's more difficult is the dynamic side of it when you're roleplaying live. There's no guide for this, though it's definitely easier to smooth it out in a real life relationship. So it's understandable that some are lost when trying to dive in.

Well, I'm planning to do another exhibition maybe tomorrow or the day after. Our established kinks might not suit your preferences so it still won't be a perfectly tailored guide to your needs, but I think it's the closest thing you can get. I will make a post within the next 12 hours if it's happening tomorrow, so tune in!

/r/HealSluts Thread