My guy friends either talk about nothing, or obsess over one thing, like football and baseball. They might talk about something big going on in their lives, but we don't talk about stuff. I don't know how any of them are doing personally. They don' talk about their parents anymore. I dont know what their favorite shows are, or what their favorite foods are, what they are if anything, they are reading.

The wives in the other hand? All the fuck about it.

Both groups socially bond differently, even when we are all in the same room, and its weird that all the shit guys leave unsaid is stuff I want to talk about, and it makes shit awkward.

I miss when it used to almost be enough, like missing an ach or pain that is finally gone after years, so I'm glad all my relationships feel more fulfilling.

Maybe I was relying on my guy relationships as a stand in for my need for emotional intimacies with men. (My relationships with other women is very fulfilling) and now that the former (close friendships with guy friends) is no longer fulfilling, It means I'm ready to look for some one I can share emotional intimacy with, and I am pretty certain I want it to be with a guy....

...Huh. Thus was not an epiphany I was expecting to have.