Anyone else thought they’d outgrow their depression?

I don't have health insurance. My mom kicked me off without telling me last fall, I didn't find out until February. My health insurance at work is high deductible and very expensive, and requires you to put a large percent of your paycheck into an hsa. Basically it's a big scam. But I make way too much money at this job to leave it, I've been searching for a year for a different job because my job is also stressful and generally shitty but I'm super unqualified for the job I hold and no one else will hire me at a similar pay and job title.

Before this job I didn't have the money for therapy. Now i have the money but I'm buying in house in Fall, I'm saving every penny for that down payment, plus even after the down payment I want to have a solid 5-10k in liquid savings as an emergency fund. I have a few grand in stocks but I'm not trying to sell those. So anyway long story short my financial situation is such that I am not going to a therapist.

Maybe it doesn't make much sense, but houses where I live are really cheap. Were looking at about 75k. Me and my girlfriends combined yearly salary is about 70 to 75k depending on bonuses. We both hate our jobs, so our gameplan is to keep our current jobs into fall, get approved for the mortgage, buy the house, and then both quit. Then I can focus on fixing the mental health issues I've never been able to address. We get 800 per month from my girlfriends family trust, which will cover some expenses, and she walks dogs for extra money and I self publish books, plus make a bit off dividends and capital gains on stocks, but I try and re-invest it all. All that together should be plenty to keep us going when our mortgage is like 350 a month. Never got to fix myself cux Abusive parents who refused to believe I was struggling and take me for the help I asked for. Then I've never had the time or money as an adult. So it's all gone untreated. A lot of anger I need to fix...i had a rough morning today and by 8am had already yelled at 2 strangers. One was randomly yelping on her front porch and woke me up this morning. The other honked at my girlfriend for driving the speed limit in a school zone. Cussed em both out, tried to fight the dude who honked at my girlfriend but the little pussy wouldn't get out of his car. Severe depression. Tried to kill myself 3 times now. Self harm. I carved weak little bitch on my chest it's badass as fuck. Probably bipolar, my dad is and his dad was. Alcoholic. Stoner. I'm just a lovely person really.

I've lived with untreated depression for 15 years what's another year or two gonna do? Once I'm in a solid place with the house and everything a year or two down the road I'll consider it.

/r/depression Thread Parent