Yeah its can get pretty awful sometimes. Ebbs and flows or whatever the expression is. My experience growing up in the 90s with some pretty gnarly depression issues was "do not speak to anyone about this, ever. it is a weapon that will be used agsinst you." And for the most part that is the reality of what happened when I ever did "reach out" or whatever. Anyway that's probably a bit weighty for a reddit conversation.
Yeah exactly, i'd say on average it was probably between an hour and a half and two hours work to make any given thing I was selling, with the actual design and tags and stuff all done. And it is really easy to fall behind on being up to date on orders when it's at least 4 every day.
Second paragraph resonated with me super fucking hard. Like really hard. I don't know how people are able to deal with it, in a healthy way. If I felt and still do feel super anxious over the thought of my brand, then how in the hell do people that have achieved worldwide success doing something they initially loved, still find joy and purpose in doing it for money- constantly? I don't think I personally will ever be able to find true "happiness", (or mabye that's not the right word to use; contentment?) doing something as a career that was firstly a hobby. I repeated myself there, but how the fuck do people do it??? Like seriously how lmao. idk.
I haven't seen it all, but i've definitley over-witnessed certain aspects of the human expereince i'd rather not of seen. If that makes any sense at all. Obviously we are all moulded by our experiences with other people. Mine haven't been great. I am extremley pessimistic and cynical at this point in my life haha, that ain't a good thing but you can see it from space if ya know me in real life. I guess i'm trying to say; I am searching for a true honest to god purpose and meaning in life. Because I feel like much of that has been stripped away from us. I don't feel like I connect in meaningful ways to really anyone I meet nowadays, and art does still make me feel like there is still hope to a certain degree. This is getting a bit sad now so i'll stop but yeah. I'll take the blow for being the guy that laments the state of being a young human in 2019, I know it makes people feel uncomfortable to discuss it but that's how I feel. Even though we are supposedly more "connected" and "together" than ever, i've never felt more fucking alone in my 25 years on this planet. And it's only gonna get worse. That's the end of my pointless bitterness now lol. I wish was it was 1974 :')
Thank you, I do honestly appreciate that a lot.