There's plenty of men of all kinds who are not assholes. I can't give you a magic bullet formula for finding one however and it would just be stereotyping and not helpful.

i specifically only like feminine men who seem extremely docile

I will say that it is real difficult to be a man with those traits. I wouldn't say I am "feminine" but I don't really approach things with gender in mind. Some people see that is me being feminine and it draws a lot of criticism and it sucks because it really gets to you after you hear it the 50th time.

Perhaps that is why a lot of men end up putting on facades and seem completely two faced. There's a fucking ton of pressure put on men and many of them (myself included) really have not risen to it. They try to prove how masculine they are with abusive traits and just act like shit people even if they are outwardly fine at first. I've worked with a ton of people like that, I'm not a warehouse worker but I'm an IT tech inside a warehouse with a bunch of guys and honestly the shit they say just makes me want to throw up, I go to my car every break because I can't stand them. One of the army guys there literally bragged about "scoring points" running over Iraqi civilians when he was fighting in the Iraq war. That's how shit it is, obviously these people are outwardly disgusting but others you can talk to for weeks and then they just say something completely fucked and it is like what the hell did I even think was going to happen?

I've gone the other way to them, instead of trying to prove "masculinity", I just don't deal with people who put me down, but the problem is so many have done it that practically everyone is pushed away. Then what do you do? At least for myself I really have no answer. It's pretty shit if you don't fit into a very standard mould as a man. You end up not doing anything.

And honestly as well in regards to this:

i specifically only like feminine men who seem extremely docile

You won't find me, you won't find my best friend who both fit this. These people exist but they're not visible for a similar reason to what you see. It's not rejection from women any more than it is rejection from society as a whole where you really feel like there aren't many decent people to even engage with so you don't put yourself out there. Of course I know there are, but actually sifting through non shitty people is difficult and hurts when you waste your time on someone who is trash. If a man can't even make male friends who they can trust to not be total assholes then honestly there is very little hope of finding them as partners either, because very few of them are going to be anywhere visible.

To be perfectly honest the gist of it is that being a shitty person as a man is kinda rewarded. In fact being a shitty person in general is often kinda rewarded from my experience. It fucking sucks to be perfectly honest.