You two sound identical to us. I'm a musician and am currently writing her a piano and cello piece in the romantic era style since she LOVES Chopin, and some modern 20th century composer too.
We both appreciate personal touches to gifts and we've been sending each other packages with some surprises in them and I'm sending another this week.
I made a very specific setup so we can watch TV together, there's still a little lag but it's better than "3... 2... 1... PLAY!" when we can both see the same screen at the same time.
Something cool I was really looking forward to tonight until she had to cancel (which kind of made me a little suspicious if I'm honest because it was at the last minute for "chores". Not sure why she couldn't have give a day's notice and done them tomorrow? But I'm probably just being paranoid) was we were going to learn some card tricks together. I'm really into cards and I showed her how you can cheat at poker and she lit up and said she was going to get a deck today and wanted me to teach her. That would've been a lot of fun. But she couldn't get out of her chores.
I'm also programming a personalized app for us and our streaming habits.
We'll be meeting each other for the first time in a few months and I can't wait. I just hope she isn't falling out of love. I got this strong feeling that she just didn't want to see me today. Either that or there was someone else she had to see and didn't want to admit "I need to cancel to see them" to me. She's currently dealing with her ex husband. I wouldn't be surprised if he was involved, otherwise she naturally would've said "I shouldn't cancel on short notice, I'll do these chores tomorrow." I must sound like a paranoid asshole.
You're right, this does gnaw at your insecurities. She has kids so is busier than I am. But I get this feeling she's getting annoyed by me or like she's falling out of love because she had a great reason to not do our usual video calls last week. Yet now that our schedules are all back to normal she still keeps finding reasons to turn up late or not at all. And when I asked why she got passive aggressive.
We DO talk a lot via text but I, and I thought she until today, really loved our video calls. It's totally different to see and hear each other. When I told her she should've give me more notice she said "we talk ALL the time" as if these calls are for my benefit. So that was kind of like a gut punch to me. I make efforts to make these calls because I thought she enjoyed them as much as I do.
I've honestly never loved anyone like this before, we started speaking totally by chance right here on Reddit and I've never got along with someone so well. But at the same time I've shown emotional and vulnerable sides of myself that I usually hide from women and it feels like it's backfiring, like she thinks I'm so in love she'll be able to just cancel at the last second and then get mad at me if I say I'm hurt or feel disrespected by that. So the way I perceive her has changed a little tonight.
It's temporary I hope because, seriously, I've never had an emotional connection like this with another person in my life and I've had some REALLY serious relationships. We connect to a stupid degree. We've found out our childhood experiences were almost identical. We experience lots of strange similarities, but we also have differences that compliment each other. She can be one of the kindest, most interesting, curious, beautiful people I've ever met. But at the same time, cancelling with someone you say you're in love with at the last second to organize some clothes, that says a lot about priorities, especially when you only get an hour or two face to face each night.
I'm ranting. Thanks for your insight. We're really similar to you guys in lots of ways.