I grew up in a very conservative christian household, and I think I had a few religious obsessions that stemmed from this. One that I remember being particularly intense revolved around the whole idea of the ‘unpardonable sin’ (blasphemy against the holy spirit). I was worried that I had, or would at some point commit this sin. Thoughts that I considered blasphemous would just randomly pop into my head, and because of them I was convinced that I was going to hell. I would pray/repent obsessively, or repeat a ‘special’ phrase in the hopes that it would somehow counteract my previous thought.

I did eventually overcome this obsession, although it was entirely unintentionally. I just reached a point where I was so convinced that I was going to hell that I no longer tried to stop/neutralise these thoughts, because they wouldn’t change my ‘fate’ anyway. Eventually I realised that I was no longer obsessing over this thing, nor did I believe that I was going to hell anymore. So once I stopped fearing the obsession, the obsession itself just went away, if that makes sense? I think it’s worth noting that I was very young and not seeing a therapist at the time, and I definitely wouldn’t recommend this as a technique to overcome a religious obsession - this was just my experience, and it was a pretty awful one too. With that being said, I think that accepting that some things are simply out of my control was a step in the right direction, otherwise I would have continued to look for reassurance and security.

You’re right, it’s very difficult to reconcile religious beliefs with religious obsessions, and you’re not alone in this struggle. I personally found that this wasn’t something I could do. Because religion inherently requires faith, it is literally impossible to find the certainty that OCD demands. So I keep the two seperate in my mind: religion is religion, and mental illness is mental illness (even if the two seem connected at times). I have also let go of a lot of the beliefs that I had as a child; this was by no means easy, but it has since relieved a lot of anxiety. I wish you all the best in your recovery, and I hope you’re able to find a way to overcome this.