Hi /u/bigbadbillyd,
I'm a veteran, although I've never been overseas.
The military is structured, rigid, organized and efficient. It has to be, because it's goal is to implement or circumvent chaos.
I'm not sure what your rank or training is, but I think it's good for yourself and the military to really incorporate elements of Taoism into your lifestyle.
Having said that, I'm sure that you have received some decent training, why not just trust that training and abandon your ambitions?
In other words, try to become stupid to your own training. Try to become dull when you need to be your smartest.
It takes balls. And you feel vulnerable and sensitive.
This sensitivity is intelligence. The sensitivity you'll find is your receptiveness to reality.
This isn't a bad thing if you want Tao. Rigid egos, trying to be a hero, acting tough, etc; these are what get people killed.
Do nothing as much as possible. Things will get done, but not by you, but by the plants, animals, and water that you have accumulated to form your body and brain.
Because all of the "somethings" that you claim to do on a daily basis, are just an act. These thoughts and notions burn unnecessary calories and prop up an image of the self that is separate, victimized, and struggling.
This view takes for granted all of the people that have formed you, all of the plants and animals that have died for you, and the sun that illuminates you before others.
Let emptiness be your goal. You can have a mission, but in order to implement the mission clearly, you have to be receptive to reality and what's going on to successfully fulfill it. You have to be sensitive to your fellow soldiers, sensitive to the "enemy" as well.
This receptiveness is effortless and there's not a damn thing your thoughts can do to improve it.
I do believe that joining the military is kind of Taoist in certain ways because you have to abandon your previous life. Why not abandon your military life while you are technically still in?
You don't have to succeed, just work on yourself.
You don't have to fail, just work on yourself, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
The Tao, stillness, nothingness, will dictate your choices when you abandon everything. Come to your senses and trust your senses, trust your mind, you don't have to cling to anything. Feel your body, meditate regularly.
All you have to worry about is doing nothing. No-thing
Y