Approaching someone who's INTJ

Depends if you want a safe and subtle approach or if you are to risk it for the biscuit from the get go.

  • Wait (Just a tad) - Imagine you are both in a chess game. the INTJ is also, probably, trying to formulate a strategy in initiating a conversation with you (if they are in fact interested). Whoever initiate first is more likely to be more interested than the other. If you feel like she's playing on the Black side of the chess board then go ahead and try to initiate first (White side).
  • Mirror Moves - Once the chess game starts and you initiated, try not show all your openings just yet. Think ahead on what you think your common interest are and mirror the move the INTJ would make. If you think they are into MBTI then start there and preemptively mirror what they would do (applies to other interests as well). The INTJs that I've encountered so far has a similar vibe with me. More likely than not, you mirroring each other shouldn't be too difficult (similar mindset).
  • Unsound Gambit - Once you grab a hold of your commonalities, try to make moves that would benefit the INTJ more (if it doesn't clash with your belief system). "Do you want to win just the chest game or the INTJ?". I would take notes on what my INTJ likes and I use my Fe (extroverted feeling) to focus on making them happy more than winning the game. Initiating moves first for their benefit or letting them take your pieces to make them happy (to make them win).
  • Concede - Once you have earned their trust then you can concede the chess game (facade) and just let go and be more of your deep self (see steps below).

If you feel like you can skip all of these steps, then be your authentic self. Discuss theories and more than likely what you see in the future (it could be about anything).

Appreciate their subtle "planting seeds" moment where they covertly try to fix your problem in a logical manner (Te). Try to use your intuition to somewhat predict what your INTJ is feeling (they will hide it from you). Try not to to be too aggressive about fixing their emotional needs. Make them understand that you understand how they feel.

I would only worry about arguments where the INTJ is less inclined to tell you that they are wrong. You might want to establish boundaries (unless you are willing to get walked all over) with your INTJ. If you see a potential future with them then I bid you good luck.

Hopefully this helped.

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