Are American men stereotypically masculine?

I have a reverse story to add to the original you're asking questions about:

I am American and dated a European here in the States, from one of the French-speaking countries, for a year and a half. The cultural differences were too drastic to sustain the relationship, unfortunately, and ultimately we parted ways.

Since I made a little more money than her, I was expected to pay for going out to eat, or drinks at a bar, especially if I invited her. Every other time that she invited me, she'd pay. I was expected to save every penny I earned and be extremely frugal in my spending habits, but still, somehow, buy things or go out and have a good time and pay for it most of the time. VERY very strange, especially the supposed equal reciprocity that was almost non-existent. Before you ask, she's not the type who would take advantage of someone...she barely even knows how to lie, and basically lived a sheltered life with her rich parents and family back in her home country.

Her European friends, also from various French-speaking countries, also here doing what she's doing, were all the same way. Having a good time to them was finding the least inexpensive way to do it and so they spent most of their time trying to figure out the cheapest way to get what they wanted, e.g. at a restaurant or one of the many events we have here.

Her colleagues, don't dare call them her friends, were put on a pedestal above all else and she'd drop everything to go do something with them, even though she was the minority among all of them and they would really make fun of her all the time -- which I had to say something at one point because it was just too much. She can defend herself, that's not my place for that...if she thinks it's enough, then it's enough. I'm not saying shit. Fight your own battles.

Between American women and them, they'd ask a lot of personal questions that I didn't care to answer. Maybe in their home countries, that's something they normally do, but Americans don't go THAT personal with the personal questions. And they were incessant too, she'd never stop asking and when I finally answered, she didn't understand and would ask why. To her, it was weird to say "I dunno. Never cared to know."

Something comparable to Americans, somewhat, is that they loved getting together at someone's house and cooking food. However NOTHING was free. You either had to put in a certain amount based on all the people there and the price of all the stuff purchased. Which, as an American, if we invite people over we don't expect more than a bag of chips or a 6 pack of beer or something and most of the time you don't have to bring anything at all.

Trying to change that, I invite them over for barbecues and they didn't have to bring anything except what they wanted to drink. She'd get mad at me for doing that since I was supposed to be saving money, that I never asked them to pay for their percentage, et cetera. So I started asking them for gas money when they rode with me, which she got mad at since I'm not supposed to ask them for gas money since I invited them to ride with me. They all told her it was weird too.

Extremely strange customs and I don't recommend trying to date a French-speaking European. It can never work out. They're also very very stubborn and unwilling to compromise on cultural differences.

/r/AskAnAmerican Thread Parent