I'm watching shit crumble.

From TV shows to grocery shopping, my life is going to be different forever. I'm only 40 years old. After 9/11 I had a hard time with crowds, but eventually I could work through it and then a crowded mall was taxing but not impossible. Now, idk if I will ever be able to do it again. I've seen too many people do whatever the fuck they want, social distancing and deadly virus be damned.

The threat isn't an attack, it's the lack of empathy or altruism or humanity. I don't trust my neighbors. The government was always an issue, but I've thought about it in terms of population and land area and and and and. Like no shit the laws seem weird, especially the ones for the whole country. Or how overworked and understaffed the IRS is. And wtf is up with the tax code? And JFC couldn't we have national standards for pay rates for teachers, and yo let's teach a few generations about critical thinking and empathy?

Sure those issues were there and will be there and it's a fucked system for getting the whole nation together.

But I don't trust my neighbors now. It isn't that I have a fear of them, but of their lack of sense of responsibility.

Just fucking sad. Every day I'm more sad.