Ever since I was young I never wanted to be like my mother (ESFJ). She is incredibly selfish and does a lot of things for her own gain, manipulating people to achieve that goal. My Dad though (I think he could be an INTJ, I haven't really delved into this that much to be honest) is incredibly selfless and has given so much for my brother and me. If I can be just some of the person he is I would be grateful.
To answer the question I see myself dealing with very emotionally heavy tasks the way my father does it, taking a step back, assessing, and then trying to help as much people as I can. I don't do this always because my anxiety and my emotions take hold the first hour or so leaving me to be a chicken without a head, but I try to remain cool and collected with the person I'm helping at the time. Sometimes this makes me swallow a lot of pain to help someone, but as long as they're good, I can at least know I've done some good in this world.
He has never yelled or had boughts of anger. Every time I've fucked up he's brought me to the side, explained what happened and what everyone is feeling and how I fucked up, and listened to why I did what I did. I try to take this approach a lot.
As good as he is with this though I have difficulty opening up to him on more emotional issues, because sometimes his answers are too clear cut to more ambiguous situations. However, his answers are usually the outcome. He does listen to every side of the story though, and he's always cordial. The thing is he always is looking that I don't get hurt.
From my mother I feel like I've picked up some of her selfishness and want for pity parties. I also talk as much as she does, about subjects I want to talk about, again like she does. There's also the matter of her constant need for validation that I've also picked up, not for a lack of her being somewhat cold and distant to me throughout the years.
She does this thing where she'll do something for me and then bring it up and tell me she expects something in return, and guilt trips me into things. My Dad never did this, and this is why I feel I oe my Dad the world and I don't really owe my.mother anything.
I hate these qualities i picked up from my mother, and I feel somewhat of a failure to my Dad when the selfishness becomes too bad. My step mother has helped me out of this as well.
All in all, I want to be my Dad, or as much as I can be when I "grow up." On the other hand I hate the aspects I've picked up from my mother, but I realize I have them and I try to work on them.
I think this became me more talking about my parents then answering the question, I can clarify or talk about anything if need be.