Are you comfortable with the size of your penis?

pre TL:DR I am now but wasn't always.

Long story follows.

I was dating this absolutely ridiculous bitch of a woman, lots of wtf moments with her. The worst and last one was going out to the kitchen after some bedroom shenanigans and she points at my dick and laughs. I asked what the problem is, she goes on about how it's tiny and cute (grower not shower) and she can't believe it. I point out that it was making her scream 30 minutes ago and figured we were done.

But no, she wants to keep the shit rolling. Mentioned it several more times throughout the day. We're engaged in further shenanigans that evening and she's on her hands and knees. I kind of laugh and she asks what's up. I tell her that her ass and thighs are kinda pudgy and dimpled, that it's cute.

This was the first time I'd ever seen what 'going apeshit' really means. She's yelling and screaming and slamming shit around and then locks herself in the bathroom, in her own place! We're talking a 30+ year old here. She starts texting me (from the bathroom) about how I'm cruel, women have more body image issues than men, blah blah, emotional availability, blah blah, lots of cosmo talk, blah. I get dressed and grab my stuff. On the drive home she texts me 4 times asking where I went.

I find out a few months later that she's been telling everyone we both know that not only am I emotionally abusive, I have a small dick. A few friends started acting weird and it started letting it bother me. I stopped dating, told myself I couldn't compete in the sex arena, I'd just fap and be better at everything else, I enjoyed being single too. Finally I hooked up with a friend I'm in grad school with. We're making out and when it starts going further I stop her and apologize since I'm under-endowed. She starts laughing and I'm momentarily crushed until she tells me that I'm an idiot and to stop worrying about shit like that. Many shenanigans followed. The next day she asked what I was worrying about. I told her the above story and she laughed and told me to stop being so neurotic.

Here's a few pointers that helped me out of that loop: Stop worrying about shit that doesn't matter (unless you're going into porn of course). And stop comparing yourself to porn stars or what the cover of cosmo says or what some ridiculous bitch (either sex) has said, we don't have enough time on the planet for that kind of shit.

If you think it's an issue for a partner, work it out. There's lots of things you can do to make it work for both of you.

You'll spend way more actual time in relationships holding hands than having sex (I hope!), but no one ever worries about the size of their hands. It's not how big it is, or what you do with it even. It's the quality of the time involved.

Goddamn, I am a wordy bastard.

/r/AskMen Thread