I am in my 3rd yr at an R1 institution. It is challenging. Yes, there are bitter people and they can be real jerks. I think people are more competitive in grad school, in college I felt like all the students tried to help each other out and like we were in it together. In grad school I have dealt with a lot of bullshit competitive nonsense and have had fellow grad students steal my ideas and be outright jerks to me. I also think its a struggle when there is more expected of you. When you are an undergrad no one expects you to constantly be producing positive data. In grad school there is a lot more pressure to perform, even though projects are unpredictable and don't always go the way you want them to. Also when you are an undergrad there is often someone showing you how to do everything and helping you troubleshoot things. Grad students don't always have that and can spend weeks banging their heads against the wall trying to get something to work or optimizing a new assay. Also, since you don't get regular grades there is no way to really know how you are doing except to compare yourself to your classmates. How do you think it feels when your classmates or people in the class under you publish a first author paper in Cell and you have a project that is not working or only getting negative data?

But there are also really amazing people you will meet in grad school, I met a really good group of friends and feel like I do have a support system of people I can call up even though I moved to this state not knowing anyone. I also met my fiance in grad school and he is amazing. I have also had lots of opportunities to travel to conferences and have taken pretty long vacations afterward and my boss hasn't complained yet.

I have put so much of myself into getting to where I am, blood sweat, tears. I left a life I was really happy with back in my old hometown to pursue this dream. So grad school and science are some of the most important things in my life. When the science isn't going well or I get a question I can't answer during a presentation from someone who is controlling whether I get funding for another year, that kills me. I let all of these little failure weigh on me and sit in the back of my mind and I feel pretty miserable most of the time because there is always something that is on the back of my mind, even on the weekend when I am trying to relax.

I think that grad school in some ways breaks you down and builds you back up again. You are pushing to be your best so you will learn what your weaknesses are but you will also learn what your strengths are.