I'm not a smart person and I can't say I can comprehend many situations.

I do see that you and him have some hurdles to work out. Part of marriage I guess.

1st things 1st. Your husband wants to live like Muslims but demands that you get a job. I think you should eventually want to have a talk with him about this. Obviously not now as tempera are high and these things should be discussed with a cool and collected mind. Ask him about if he wants his version of Islam where he gets to be the captain with out having to fulfill his obligations or would he want proper Islam.

Obviously it looks like things are tight and another income would help. But, that also means he has to tone it down a bit.

On the other hand you being a full time student means that he expects you to contribute in one way or the other, if that means going over to the in laws every once in a while, then so be it. Try to balance your school with your family life. It ain't easy but he will appreciate this.

Lastly, Allah(swt) made you a woman and Allah(swt) has made men in a way that women can over power us emotionally. You're a woman, own it and use the tools Allah(swt) gave you. Many women are unaware of the kind of control they can excert on their men. Shouting at each other and bickering isn't that way. I don't want you to think I'm asking you to be manipulative because women do tend to abuse this power. But there is a way to get your man to do things for you and listen to you. Trying to match him in bickering and shouting will never do any good to either one of you. Trick is you make him feel special and important and manly when he's all smug and in a good mood, gradually bring up the things that concern you guys and keep it light hearted, he'll be all. Yeah you're right I gotta do this or do that. Remember the Pharoahs wife was a pious lady and she got the pharaoh to spare the life of Moses(pbuh) and keep a slave's child in the royal palace and raise him as their own. If she Ws able to get the most evil man in human history to do that, your husband ain't Naaaathing...study and learn Quran for guidance and understanding. The advice to all of your problems is in the Quran but they don't jump out for you, you have to extract the advice and wisdom.

History holds evidence that women have run empires through their men by using proper tactics.

Now it goes with out saying that you have to work on yourself too, with the alcohol and balancing responsibilities and what not.

You are not working and if you are career minded you know whether you get a job now or after your Masters. You have no experience and would have to start at the bottom. Why not look for a job in a relevant field and make the company pay for your education. Almost all big compnies have it in their benefits to help with education of their employees.

Also from whatever I've read in your posts so far, you both have a lot of thoughts you don't share and the frustration builds and builds and it's just overflows in his case he just shuts down and in your case you have to let loose and you go and have a drink or 2 every few months.

You don't realize it but it is infact better for men to go somewhere and cool off. The guys who don't do that let the aggression out and because your words are hurting him, he will say the meanest things to you and the matter just escalates. Anger is from shaitan and removing oneself from a heated situation is a good thing. Although afterwords follow up and apologies and making up are also necessary.

So to conclude, you as a female have been given powers over men, use this wisely.,,,,(evil rubbing of hands, muahahaha), check your religion, you and him both. Balance you responsibilities. In order to have a a good start towards a career, working in your respective field and hopefully find a n employer who pays for your eduation as money seems tight.