You are handing over your body to a new owner. What do you point out?

You have been exposed repeatedly to environmental toxins. Enjoy the mold that is likely growing in your lungs, the lead paint dust that has intercalated into your bones and brain, the asbestos that you have inhaled, the carbon monoxide that a broken heat exchanger was present at toxic levels for a year and a half, the arsenic dust released into your home from illegal renovations sawing through arsenic-treated wood, as well as the resulting chronic headaches, daily vomiting, neural damage (from a 163 IQ with a master's degree courtesy of the Great Recession, and from narc'ing on the local crime syndicate before realizing that the local police were paid off and probably getting their dicks wet from the roofied rapes going on as well - and if not, blackmailed for taking steroids and cocaine from the same crime syndicate. Oh yes, and you aren't going to take opioids for pain because that's not your thing, but the same syndicate poisoned you almost to death to the point where you couldn't lay down on a memory foam mattress on your right side for three-four months after they drugged you and poisoned you and you probably only lived because you vomited as you regained conscious self-control four hours after they shoveled pills down your throat (probably something hepatotoxic and easily available like acetaminophen). Your wife's step-mother has threatened to kill you and your wife if you talk about the new will signed the day her father, dying from lung/brain cancer, supposedly "X'd" the day he died, witnessed by the neighbor who sleeps with an M240 that her father's wife, who never adopted her and took a life insurance policy out on her as a seven year bet that she'd die when she was 17, was banging for a couple years while her husband (my wife's father) got sicker and sicker with multiple diseases. And now she realizes whenever she had friends come stay over, they'd always get sick. But police don't care until there's a body, and death threats (such as mother in law's brother threatening to "hunt us down wherever we are and drop us like a whore's panties") are misdemeanors not worth following up on. Oh yes, and her high school friend has told her that her phone is hacked, and she shouldn't talk to anyone because they're all paid off - guessing the stepmom took out a life insurance policy on her father before he "got ill" to the point of death when he was in his prime. Most cancer patients die with high blood sugar (to feed the cancer), not low blood sugar (like an insulin shot). Now the step-mom says that if my wife goes by the house that her dad built on 7 acres (after faking his signature as she did when my wife was a child repeatedly, even having her do it since she could do it better) that she will shoot her dead. She even laughed about a black man "hanging himself" after supposedly asking her for the $50 she owed him for delivering wood, at a location locally known in Gallatin as a KKK location. So run, because no matter what, money is all that matters and dirty deeds are done dirt cheap, and the step-mother says "you can't live in hotels your whole life! It'll follow you!"

Hey, anyone wanna trade lives? We both have medical orders to get chest x-rays and have internal organ pain. We both passed out and lost days after narc'ing on the local crime syndicate because when we asked they stop slipping us roofies, they freaked out, and when I asked about it again very quietly, it triggered us becoming "niggers," (to quote my wife's cousin).

/r/AskReddit Thread