Why are singers such a pain to work with?

Some singers (actors too) are very fragile people who, due to parental abuse or neglect during their upbringing, believe they're somehow damaged or unloveable. Because of this, they were drawn to professions where they can get a lot of praise and attention to try to fill the emotional hole they have. As they think their true self is unloveable, they create a facade that they believe is perfect and worthy of admiration.

This makes it very difficult for them to accept criticism as the facade is relatively thin and there is a fear on their part that letting in any crack may bring the whole thing down. No facade would mean leaving their vulnerable real self exposed (which they think is unloveable). The facade also makes it difficult to get to know the person on a deeper level because all one gets is the facade which, in an attempt to appear perfect, never really lets you know what's going on.

If you're dealing with somebody with diva behavior, chances are he/she is very likely a damaged person. The more lengths they go to show how great they are and that everyone should admire them, the better the chance that they actually really believe deep down they're unloveable. This incredible need to be loved is actually professionally useful as it gives them an insane drive to succeed and be as perfect as possible. These are great traits to have as a performer, even if the reason for the drive, in this case, stems from feelings of unworthiness.

There are people like this in all professions and it is not unique to the performing arts. It's just the performing arts tends to have a disproportionate number of people like this due to the attention and praise a performing artist can get.

/r/opera Thread