Are there married men, or men who are in a serious committed relationship, that follow porn stars, or other random naked women on social media?

33 yo guy here (married, together 10 years) who follows some girls on IG etc.

"I’m extremely lost on how to feel about all of this." -> I'm not sure that him looking at rando internet girls is a reason to feel anything, but the root cause of this behavior might be something worth having feelings about.

In my case I guess I follow girls on IG because there is a hole not being filled by my wife.

She lacks ambition in all areas, she's gained a bunch of weight (I don't mean like a little chubby, I mean *properly* gained) she lacks any drive to be sexual and makes almost 0 effort in that area. When she does it's more vanilla than vanilla. (Is totally unflavored ice-cream even a thing?)

If I didn't follow those accounts I might forget that there is a whole world out there that doesn't suck and could be fun...

Aannnnyway, a few suggestions from the guys point of view:

"Are there any men that understand the respect that I’m asking for here?"

"I made it clear that this will not be ok"

One of these sounds like you are on a high horse and the other sounds like you are giving an order / ultimatum. Maybe not great.

Ask him if there is something he's getting from that online stuff that he's not getting from you.

Ask if something is missing in your relationship, if there is a hole being filled.

If no to the two above, then it's just an old habit. Ask if it would be a problem to un-follow the accounts and concentrate all his attention on you. (remember asking VS telling, you catch more flies with honey).

Finally about the self confidence thing... maybe if you were the most self confident girl in the world you would be OK with it? But frankly there is no requirement for you to be like that! Your self confidence wavering from time to time is totally normal.

/r/sexover30 Thread