The last one is pretty bad and it reveals whatever biases the person subconsciously holds. I didn't experience it in Germany specifically, but there have been a few times that I was the only man in a group and the women were the ones placing orders but I kept being addressed for everything.

The second one is a norm difference. No-one is expected to ne over-the-top anything. The service they offer doesn't involve smiling, but you are also not expected to be any more polite than saying "bitte" at the end of your order. It's a bit of a disappointment if you are yourself in high spirits, but you'll appreciate the straightforwardness on the days you're down and don't want to have extended social interactions.

The screaming also sounds horribly rude. People really need to understand that volume increase doesn't correlate with understanding better.