ASK KIM! Food, Books & Racism

I'm your standard white guy from middle US (I know, let the "check your privilege" roll), and it's kinda depressing to be me.

I've never been accused of being a racist, but I know I have unknowingly been. I'm not happy about it. I feel we all do it subconsciously. Whether it's you avoiding the aisle at the market with the turban, or avoiding sitting next to the big guy on the bench, or open in the door for that old person. It's not right, no...nor is it excusable by any means. It happens..

It happens to me. I walked into a cafe on campus and was told by a young girl that because she was "black" (her words), that I should give her my spot in line to pay. I asked why, I got back because your racist if you don't. I, sadly, wanted to stand up for myself being a person just like her, but judging by what she said, I was going to be verbally abused so I let her go in my spot. She just laughed.

I have since felt trapped by society that puts me under the microscope. I can be proud of my heritage in public at home, because I'm seen as crazy for enjoying my family being from Germany. But, when I say I enjoy being American in some countries I get berated.

Possibly worse is just being male. I lived with my ex-wife while we were dating, and one of her friends decided she wanted to move into our spare room. Her friend was female. I was told by my ex-wife that her friend's father was afraid I would rape her. Never having done that before, I was upset. Her father was a priest, and the same man that married my ex-wife and I. Why would he say that?

Then, you look at trends in the US regarding men. Any domestic dispute, and the male is taken into custody just to diffuse the situation. I talked with a police officer friend, he told me this was standard policy, even if the male was the victim. Try telling your boss you are in jail because your spouse attacked you, and you went to jail for it...gonna be able to keep your job? Most places will can you. I went to a lawyer for my divorce, he told me that the judge in my town said to him one day regarding fathers in custody disputes, "Unless the mother is doing drugs, I will always side with the mother." It scares me because I love my son and think he needs both his parents equally in his life, but I'm told that likely won't happen, based off the statistics of being father and the judge's personal beliefs. I feel like, as a man, I must be and look like a bodybuilder who holds down a suit-and-tie profession. Be modest in all aspects. Don't show emotion of any kind, especially anger. But, I also must still practice chivalry toward all women.

I just want equality for everyone. I want women to be comparable in wages, and be allowed to pursue any field that wish. I also wish the same for men. So, equality for bankers, secretaries, nurses, doctors, fire fighters, farmers, social workers, teachers, etc. I want people to be paid based on their job and their performance. I want all races to be judged the same. Special privileges given to no race. It seems like you can avoid a lot of this, individually, if you throw around enough cash and play up to people's expectations. I've done this and am sad for it, I've lost my personal identity and feel caged. Maybe I'm right, I'm sure people will say I'm wrong, but this is just a soap box statement on a place where I can be heard without being afraid of constant persecution for wanting equality. So, thanks for listening!

/r/yogscastkim Thread Link - youtube.com