More than 20 years of trying. Our marriage struggled year one. I dragged him to couples counseling over the years, but he’s never made it past 2 sessions as he thinks it’s useless. He would go to pacify me, things might “feel” better for a minute because we’re talking about us, but then old issues return like clockwork, within days. He needs individual therapy (I’m going on my own now) for his anxiety, phobias, and other mental issues, but it’s all “pseudoscience” according to him. He refuses to take his antidepressants because they “won’t help.” How he knows this without taking more than a week’s worth, idk.

I see now he’s just not capable of giving me what I need unless he completely changes his thinking in fundamental ways, which he is unwilling to even consider, and that’s okay, but I’m not giving him another 20 years. I honestly think he may be happier once it’s all said and done, but who knows.

But yeah. It shouldn’t be a shock to him, considering the way our marriage has gone, and the many times I’ve discussed we might be better off apart, but he truly never thought I’d follow through. Is still hoping I won’t, I’d guess.